Family Ties

So you meet a nice guy one day. You all exchange numbers and agree to go on a date. During this time you get to know him and meet a few of his friends and learn more of his reputation. You notice he’s quite the charmer and has a plethora of lady friends. Okay, no problem…that is until she (or they in some cases) call him “brother/big bro”.

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Am I the only one who gets a bit miffed when I hear about a guy who has a lot of “little sisters” and not by marriage or blood? For some reason, referring to a friend of the opposite sex as a sibling has become a not-so-discrete code name for a cut buddy who was denied a relationship but is sticking around in hopes that the decision changes. These type of individuals annoy me because in personal experience I’ve learned that because they do not know their role and don’t want to play their position they try to diffuse any type of connection you have with their “significant other to be/sibling”. I knowww I knowww, you’re supposed to be secure enough in yourself to not be bothered by the “other women” if you’re with him, but the constant friction from the outsiders the average person will not stick around dealing with people that he should keep in check….and even if he doesn’t keep them in check its still not a promise things will keep quiet. For instance, an acquaintance of mine was tragically killed at a young age. At the time of his death he was engaged. Unfortunately a boatload of “little sisters” came forward to express their grief in a disrespectful manner…describing intimate moments with him in the presence of the fiancee. I’m sorry, but stuff like that pisses me off. I’m the type of woman that likes special attention…not smothered…but enough that I know that I’m special and DIFFERENT from the other women you interact with. So if I get the same interactions as your “little sisters” were gonna have problems. My treatment needs to be enough that will tell THEM that I am the one he is dating and that I have a higher position on his social hierarchy than they do. Sounds petty, but its what I require. And IF I had it completely my way when things become a bit more serious I’d have him cut off the ex cut buddies.

WHOA you’re doing the most you say. Let me clarify. We know that some people become emotionally attached if the relations are plenty and satisfactory. Some folk become weak and in the fashion of humans being a creature of habit they “want that old thing back.” Seeing as though those who usually want that old thing back will do what’s necessary to get what they want (speaking from personal experiences and observation) they will become a problem for the establishment of something new for the “sibling”. I prefer not to have that problem, although men seem to never completely sever the ties between them and the ex-cut buddy…makes for good drama and entertainment I guess, but I digress. I will have enough on my plate trying to maintain the relationship with him, I don’t want any beef from a has-been.

So what happens? Do you push through and tell ole dude that you want them gone if you become official, or do you strengthen your self security to deal with them AND him? Speaking for myself if you have that much “extended family” I probably won’t touch you…your attention is too scattered to give me what I need. But since we live in a society where people keep their microwave dinners around for a rainy day these questions need answers! Dah well….hopefully ill figure this out by the time I need an answer….which won’t be soon.