Loving on YOU

This looks good, doesn't it?

Imagine, sitting on the table is a bowl of the freshest strawberries, grapes, and pineapples. The plate in front of you has shrimp linguini and a caesar salad as an entree. A bottle of Riesling chills in the bucket with wine glasses begging to be filled. Something is missing though….YOU.

And thats it….just you.

Don’t panic. Grab a paper bag if you need to and breathe into it. Contrary to popular practice….its okay to go out by yourself.

Taking yourself out on a date has to be one of the most relaxing things you can ever do. Some women get into the habit of waiting on Prince Charming to show them the best time of their lives that they waste time sitting idle instead of making that moment happen for themselves. Yeah we’ll go to the salon and get that fresh wash to rock while we grace the world with our presence…we’ll even go pick out that hot new nail color to put on your fingers and toes every two weeks. Retail therapy goes down MAYBE twice a month….but we let the self pampering stop there. NO!

Go all the way with it….take yourself out! Some women are afraid that it makes them look like a loser if they’re seen sitting by themselves in a restaurant, thats not necessarily true! Forget what everyone else is thinking for just a moment in your life and do you. Make your own dream date and do it! A little ego masturbation never hurt anyone! Sometimes you have to treat yourself to a good time and leave all others out of the equation. I’ve gone so far as to have booked myself a weekend getaway on the beach equipped with full spa treatment, dinner and breakfast, a shopping spree, AND watching the sunrise on the coast. Needless to say, I had a ball and came back more refreshed than ever! You can do it too!

I know everyone isnt for the New Years Resolutions and whatnot, but here is something I’m doing for myself in the year 2011. Im making a list of my Top 12 Dream Dates that I would love to go on…and guess what? I’m taking myself on them. I’m not eeeeven gonna write in an open space for a man on this list because who is to say that the space will be filled by someone worthy? Shoot this list is about me anyway and if I have to recruit someone else to give myself a good time we might have a problem. Well here is some of my list (in random order):

1) Go to see a play in a local theater, then follow it up by sitting in the lifeguard chair on the oceanfront relaxing in the depth of nature.

2) Candlelight dinner consisting of a home cooked meal, then riding down a country road listening to 90s slow jams.

3) Sitting in the car gazing at the stars and the autumn full moon.

4) DVD night watching my favorite television shows while pigging out on junk food.

Etcetera Etcetera Etcetera…

There is one dream date for each month of the year so that way I’m not slacking off one month looking crazy because I didn’t treat myself lol. But no more waiting on him to give me a good time! When I took myself out sometimes I noticed that I was approached even more by menfolk than if I were with a group of friends. Guys what are your first thoughts when you see a woman eating dinner or going out by herself? I can’t speak for men because I’m not one, so give us your thoughts here!

The moral of the story, ladies, is don’t be afraid to give yourself a good time. If you can’t enjoy your own company then how can you expect someone else to enjoy you?

Family Ties

So you meet a nice guy one day. You all exchange numbers and agree to go on a date. During this time you get to know him and meet a few of his friends and learn more of his reputation. You notice he’s quite the charmer and has a plethora of lady friends. Okay, no problem…that is until she (or they in some cases) call him “brother/big bro”.

-_____________________-

Am I the only one who gets a bit miffed when I hear about a guy who has a lot of “little sisters” and not by marriage or blood? For some reason, referring to a friend of the opposite sex as a sibling has become a not-so-discrete code name for a cut buddy who was denied a relationship but is sticking around in hopes that the decision changes. These type of individuals annoy me because in personal experience I’ve learned that because they do not know their role and don’t want to play their position they try to diffuse any type of connection you have with their “significant other to be/sibling”. I knowww I knowww, you’re supposed to be secure enough in yourself to not be bothered by the “other women” if you’re with him, but the constant friction from the outsiders the average person will not stick around dealing with people that he should keep in check….and even if he doesn’t keep them in check its still not a promise things will keep quiet. For instance, an acquaintance of mine was tragically killed at a young age. At the time of his death he was engaged. Unfortunately a boatload of “little sisters” came forward to express their grief in a disrespectful manner…describing intimate moments with him in the presence of the fiancee. I’m sorry, but stuff like that pisses me off. I’m the type of woman that likes special attention…not smothered…but enough that I know that I’m special and DIFFERENT from the other women you interact with. So if I get the same interactions as your “little sisters” were gonna have problems. My treatment needs to be enough that will tell THEM that I am the one he is dating and that I have a higher position on his social hierarchy than they do. Sounds petty, but its what I require. And IF I had it completely my way when things become a bit more serious I’d have him cut off the ex cut buddies.

WHOA you’re doing the most you say. Let me clarify. We know that some people become emotionally attached if the relations are plenty and satisfactory. Some folk become weak and in the fashion of humans being a creature of habit they “want that old thing back.” Seeing as though those who usually want that old thing back will do what’s necessary to get what they want (speaking from personal experiences and observation) they will become a problem for the establishment of something new for the “sibling”. I prefer not to have that problem, although men seem to never completely sever the ties between them and the ex-cut buddy…makes for good drama and entertainment I guess, but I digress. I will have enough on my plate trying to maintain the relationship with him, I don’t want any beef from a has-been.

So what happens? Do you push through and tell ole dude that you want them gone if you become official, or do you strengthen your self security to deal with them AND him? Speaking for myself if you have that much “extended family” I probably won’t touch you…your attention is too scattered to give me what I need. But since we live in a society where people keep their microwave dinners around for a rainy day these questions need answers! Dah well….hopefully ill figure this out by the time I need an answer….which won’t be soon.

Condom Conundrum

I'm 24 and I can say I've never bought condoms *gasp*. That seems so sexually irresponsible of me, and I'm sure someone reading this is thinking "Its 2010, what do you mean?" Now let me state for the record I practice safe sex...I've just never personally purchased the life jacket. I have gone with the significant other to purchase them, just never been the one paying. Maybe this has a lot to do with when I was in middle school and a few friends and myself decided to try and buy condoms to see what they looked like up close and personal. And just our luck our teacher walks into the store and decides to have a chat. We quickly stuff the condoms in an oven mitt and never did buy them. Also, I was involved with a guy who insisted on being the one who purchased the condoms. He did not trust it if he did not buy it. [he had a fear of someone trying to 'trap' him or something...but anyway.] That also contributed to my condom conundrum.

Ever since then I've always associated buying condoms with something I'm not suppose to do. Not like its not my responsibility, just that I get this overwhelming anxiety like someone is looking at me and thinking "She isn't suppose to be having sex." And I guess it can be said if I cannot muster the strength and courage to buy condoms I probably should not be having sex (lol). However, I'm sure I am not the only one with this problem.

Also, along with the fear of purchasing condoms, there is the question. How many condoms is just TOO many? I know it seems like a silly question, but at what point is it just too many condoms for a girl to have at her disposal. [Yes, it can be said with the state of STDs today there is no such thing as too much, but in this instance I am talking about perception.] At what point is it too much, and a girl is considered a slut. If he comes over and I open a drawer and let him choose from a plethora of brands/flavors/and textures..lol. I think then its boardering on being too much. I've read that a simple three pack is ideal for a woman, where she looks concerned enough with her health, but isn't giving off the perception that she has sex with so many men she needs her own condom facility. ***I need more men reading this blog so I can get male feedback on these IMPORTANT questions.***

In the end, my approach seems to be working for me, for now. I don't have to deal with the added cost of buying condoms (although I do have to foot the bill for the lingerie when deemed needed, which is rather costly) and I can say without a doubt I've never had an STD and I am not someones mom. :D


P.S. But maybe I might psych myself up and waltz into a store sometime in the near future and tackle this fear.

**this blog post was taken from my personal blog and re-posted for your enjoyment**